Post by THE GREAT OZ on Sept 19, 2011 20:03:31 GMT
I wrote this a bit ago and after reading Storm's post of her friend losing their daughter because of the actions of bullies, I will now post it.
dear diary, i'm glad i have you. sometimes i feel like you are my only friend. you are the only one who listens to what i say and and never put me down. some days without you, i wonder how i make it. we have no secrets, you and me. i think this is the best part of you. school was hell again today. i've tried talking to mom, but she just don't get it. she just always wants me to make the best of it. i've really tried and i can't see anything 'best' about being bullied or called names or being pushed around by people who really don't know who i am or what i'm about. HELL, they don't even take the time to find out. i've tried so hard to fit in. i really just don't know how to do that and have no friend to ask them how to do it. sometimes it feels like i'm being punished but I don't know what i did to deserve it. i know i am not the prettiest girl in school. my grades are average and i don't put myself out there like i used to. it doesn't make a difference any more so why should i? i just go to my room and this is where i spend all my time. around all my things that I love and don't judge me. i've looked in the mirror so many times and i don't see anything wrong with what looks back at me, but i guess other people must or they wouldn't treat me this way. sometimes i just don't want to go on. but, as usual, when mom sees me and knows i am down in the dumps, she just tells me to snap out of it and what could be so bad about being a kid that i would get this way. well, even if i told her all the reasons she wouldn't hear what i'm really saying. even my music doesn't make me happy anymore. today was just the worst ever. all day at school i was hounded by the same ol people, doing what they do everyday at school. make me feel like i am worthless. sometimes, i really believe them. if i am what they say, what is the point of being here? diary, i wish you could talk and give me some wise words of wisdom my teacher's are always talking about. i wish you could magically speak and help me solve all my problems. wishes never gets granted and i know this but it doesn't do any harm to wish does it? i think sometimes I have a solution but then a voice inside me tells me that is not the right way to go about it. then why doesn't this damn voice tell me what is the right way to fix it. some days i am just so tired. it is like really hard for me to get up and go to school anymore. i do it and i'm really not sure why. i have so many wonderful ideas that i have shared with you, my dear diary, but you never tell me what you think of them. in fact, i am not sure why i even write in you any more. it is beginning to be a waste of my time and strength. i really think today was the last time i am going to feel this way. the idea of how to do this has been in my mind for a while now and i guess it is time for me to do something about it. i am tired of all the pain and hurt i feel. i don't understand why no one else can see this but me. when do the bullies that torment me get their share of torment. do they ever feel bad about what they do? doesn't anyone see what they are doing to me and some of the others. teachers don't care. they just do their job and teach and then go home and be happy. just for once i'd like to come home and be happy. i am not sure when that changed for me. what do bullies become when they grow up? do they still hurt and make people miserable because in some weird way this is their happiness? why the hell can't you answer these questions for me dear diary. everyday i pour out my heart to you and all i get is my own words staring back at me and they are starting to look, well, meaningless, just like me. i don't think i'll be writing much more in you dear diary, you don't care about how i feel either. you don't care what the bullying does to me or how it makes me feel. maybe because you are just another bully and i'm just figuring that out. well, to hell with you. i'm just going to do what i feel like doing. i shouldn't have waited this long to do it. who the hell cares anyway. not you! that's all for now dear diary. i'm putting you away for now i don't know what else to say or do. i wish you had been more of a friend to me but i guess i'm not supposed to have friends. good night dear diary and sleep well.
As Mrs. Cruthers fixed breakfast the next morning she hummed for it was a beautiful day with the sun shining and the birds singing. Mr.Cruthers has had his breakfast and was on his daily commute to work. It was a day just like any other ordinary day. Mrs. Cruthers went to the bottom of the stairs and called for Audrey to come down for breakfast and then she went back to the kitchen to pour herself another hot cup of coffee. She sat thinking of the things she wanted to do today as she sat sipping her coffee. She thought to herself what is taking Audrey so long to come to breakfast. She's going to be late to school. She gets up and goes again to the bottom of the stairs to call her daughter, her only child, to come for breakfast. This time in a tone not as nice as the first. She stands there waiting for an answer.. Nothing. Now she is starting to get a bit angry and thinks teenage years are always the worst with any child. She marches up the stairs and knocks on Audrey's door. No answer. She knocks harder and in a loud voice, she tells Audrey to open her door now. She gets only silence. Mrs. Cruthers has just run out of patience. She turns the knob and throws open the door and readies herself for the harsh words she is about to use with Audrey. What she is met with stops the words in her throat. Audrey is hanging from the ceiling fan by a pair of panty hose. Mrs. Cruthers stifles a scream. She knew that Audrey is gone.
The diary was never found and no one knew why Audrey did what she did. And when the bullies at school heard the rumors and stories of Audrey they laughed. Now they would have to find somebody else to pick on...but Audrey had been such fun for them.
Bless...OZ
dear diary, i'm glad i have you. sometimes i feel like you are my only friend. you are the only one who listens to what i say and and never put me down. some days without you, i wonder how i make it. we have no secrets, you and me. i think this is the best part of you. school was hell again today. i've tried talking to mom, but she just don't get it. she just always wants me to make the best of it. i've really tried and i can't see anything 'best' about being bullied or called names or being pushed around by people who really don't know who i am or what i'm about. HELL, they don't even take the time to find out. i've tried so hard to fit in. i really just don't know how to do that and have no friend to ask them how to do it. sometimes it feels like i'm being punished but I don't know what i did to deserve it. i know i am not the prettiest girl in school. my grades are average and i don't put myself out there like i used to. it doesn't make a difference any more so why should i? i just go to my room and this is where i spend all my time. around all my things that I love and don't judge me. i've looked in the mirror so many times and i don't see anything wrong with what looks back at me, but i guess other people must or they wouldn't treat me this way. sometimes i just don't want to go on. but, as usual, when mom sees me and knows i am down in the dumps, she just tells me to snap out of it and what could be so bad about being a kid that i would get this way. well, even if i told her all the reasons she wouldn't hear what i'm really saying. even my music doesn't make me happy anymore. today was just the worst ever. all day at school i was hounded by the same ol people, doing what they do everyday at school. make me feel like i am worthless. sometimes, i really believe them. if i am what they say, what is the point of being here? diary, i wish you could talk and give me some wise words of wisdom my teacher's are always talking about. i wish you could magically speak and help me solve all my problems. wishes never gets granted and i know this but it doesn't do any harm to wish does it? i think sometimes I have a solution but then a voice inside me tells me that is not the right way to go about it. then why doesn't this damn voice tell me what is the right way to fix it. some days i am just so tired. it is like really hard for me to get up and go to school anymore. i do it and i'm really not sure why. i have so many wonderful ideas that i have shared with you, my dear diary, but you never tell me what you think of them. in fact, i am not sure why i even write in you any more. it is beginning to be a waste of my time and strength. i really think today was the last time i am going to feel this way. the idea of how to do this has been in my mind for a while now and i guess it is time for me to do something about it. i am tired of all the pain and hurt i feel. i don't understand why no one else can see this but me. when do the bullies that torment me get their share of torment. do they ever feel bad about what they do? doesn't anyone see what they are doing to me and some of the others. teachers don't care. they just do their job and teach and then go home and be happy. just for once i'd like to come home and be happy. i am not sure when that changed for me. what do bullies become when they grow up? do they still hurt and make people miserable because in some weird way this is their happiness? why the hell can't you answer these questions for me dear diary. everyday i pour out my heart to you and all i get is my own words staring back at me and they are starting to look, well, meaningless, just like me. i don't think i'll be writing much more in you dear diary, you don't care about how i feel either. you don't care what the bullying does to me or how it makes me feel. maybe because you are just another bully and i'm just figuring that out. well, to hell with you. i'm just going to do what i feel like doing. i shouldn't have waited this long to do it. who the hell cares anyway. not you! that's all for now dear diary. i'm putting you away for now i don't know what else to say or do. i wish you had been more of a friend to me but i guess i'm not supposed to have friends. good night dear diary and sleep well.
As Mrs. Cruthers fixed breakfast the next morning she hummed for it was a beautiful day with the sun shining and the birds singing. Mr.Cruthers has had his breakfast and was on his daily commute to work. It was a day just like any other ordinary day. Mrs. Cruthers went to the bottom of the stairs and called for Audrey to come down for breakfast and then she went back to the kitchen to pour herself another hot cup of coffee. She sat thinking of the things she wanted to do today as she sat sipping her coffee. She thought to herself what is taking Audrey so long to come to breakfast. She's going to be late to school. She gets up and goes again to the bottom of the stairs to call her daughter, her only child, to come for breakfast. This time in a tone not as nice as the first. She stands there waiting for an answer.. Nothing. Now she is starting to get a bit angry and thinks teenage years are always the worst with any child. She marches up the stairs and knocks on Audrey's door. No answer. She knocks harder and in a loud voice, she tells Audrey to open her door now. She gets only silence. Mrs. Cruthers has just run out of patience. She turns the knob and throws open the door and readies herself for the harsh words she is about to use with Audrey. What she is met with stops the words in her throat. Audrey is hanging from the ceiling fan by a pair of panty hose. Mrs. Cruthers stifles a scream. She knew that Audrey is gone.
The diary was never found and no one knew why Audrey did what she did. And when the bullies at school heard the rumors and stories of Audrey they laughed. Now they would have to find somebody else to pick on...but Audrey had been such fun for them.
Bless...OZ
How dare these people make such a judgemebnt when they are not perfect themselves...They do soo much damage and yet they brush it off...Karma will come and bite them in the arse big time!!!!
